Here's the story of how we met! We both separately wrote these sections prior to our wedding; it couldn't put into perspective our views on life, love, God and each other any better.
It all started one summer day at the Holland Christian High school football field during speed and agility training. It was the summer before my junior year and the summer before her sophomore year. Dar and I were both there I believe for off-season speed training, I was with the football team and she was with her cheer team. The first time I had ever seen her in my life was that day when Coach Tim Lont called all us guys in (likely to chew us out for not running hard enough) and I remember he pointed out a cheerleader, and said something like “I’ll bet I'd really get you guys to run if I taped dollar bills to her shorts.” Of course that beautiful cheerleader was Darlene Kay.
From that point on I had a major crush on Dar. However, I was too shy to introduce myself or anything that I should have done. It wasn't really until my junior year that I was able to properly introduce myself and get to know Dar.
The spring of that year like every year was baseball season for me. That year was different, I had a bad experience with the head baseball coach which caused me to make the decision to quit baseball and join the track team. Dar and I met during that track season and became good friends. From that point on we ate lunch together almost every day with some of our favorite people Adam Winstrom and Grant Oosting. To some we looked like the island of misfit toys but that’s another story for another day. Both of us have a spot in our heart for those the world deems abnormal and the love for those people I believe is one of the first things that drew Dar and I together.
I always had feelings for Darlene but I didn’t know how to express it to her. Partially because I didn’t want to tell her and for fear of her to not feel the same way, and also because she was in a relationship at the time and If she was happy with that guy then I suppose she didn’t have feelings for me. She and I graduated and never shared the feelings we had for each other until later when we were both in college briefly in a Meijer parking lot late at night. Dar was at GVSU and I was still at GRCC and she had been in and out of a relationship, and at that time she was not in a relationship but I thought she was, so again I didn’t make a move. Again, I thought if she was in a relationship with someone else she clearly didn’t want to be with me. In our conversation in the parking lot we both clearly were not on the same wave length because both her and I were trying to share the feelings we had, but both went away confused and frustrated. However, looking back college still wasn’t the correct timing.
More and more time passed and I moved on to Michigan State to earn my Bachelors and Masters Degrees in forestry there. Dar and I kept in touch off and on through this period. She even set me up on several blind dates during this stretch. These set ups to me meant she was all but interested in me, and with every set up I just wanted the person across the table to be her. Also during this period Dar moved away and we kept in touch, but it was not often. She got married and moved across the country and I thought I had really blew it...she was just the one that got away. Over the years I buried those feelings and accepted the fact that we were not meant to be.
More time passed, she was traveling the country for work and I was in Kalamazoo working for MSU at Kellogg Forest. I didn’t know it at the time but she had moved back to Holland. We ran into each other at friends' birthday parties and we were both kind of shocked to see each other again. After that several months passed and we ran into each other again by chance. She seemed like something was bothering her and I asked her to talk. She said she had gone through a divorce and asked if I would ever date a divorced girl. I said yes, but we both agreed we needed to take it slow and be open and honest with each other. That week Dar came to visit me in Augusta and we sat and talked for hours about the feelings we had for each other but never shared. Dar had some hesitation about dating again and the feelings of judgment from others for being in a relationship again after divorce weighed on her heavily. We both decided to wait to be officially dating and to allow healing to take place.
January 5, 2013, Dar and I had our fist official date. That date led to many more dates and our relationship grew from being friends to so much more. Both of us believe that God's timing is the best timing even if it takes longer than we thought it should. The life lessons we both learned over the 10 years we have known each other have shaped who we are today. When we started dating the song by Josh turner “Time is Love” had recently come out and it couldn’t explain our relationship any better. The time that had passed while we weren’t dating shaped us into who God wanted us to be and allowed us to love each other with His love no matter how much time had passed. If anything having that much time pass and still connecting affirmed for us the feelings we had and have for each other are real.
While dating, Dar and I have made it clear to each other that we want to put Jesus at the center of our relationship. That was something that each of us had realized in our past relationships we did not have as the number one priority. We both agree that if He is at the center, nothing can shake us even if we fail.
Dar and I finally were engaged on the beach in the presence of our friends and family on December 15 of 2013, and are going to be married August 2 of 2014. It has been a long time coming, but both of us wouldn’t change our story for the world. Our experiences during this time have shaped who we are today and will shape us as we start a new life together. Every day I thank God for putting this special girl in my life; I am very excited for her and I to finally be married.
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When I first met Brett, I was 16. He was fondly known to the cheerleaders at HCHS as the all-American boy that everyone wanted to marry someday (later on as the lumberjack to my Champion ladies). The first thing I remember about Brett is is smile and the way he laughed. His kind spirit was one of the first things that drew me to him. Brett and I eventually became friends through track and field...overtime we became best friends having lunch together everyday at HC with Adam and Grant.
By the time we left HC, we had held each others' starting blocks, been at the trainer icing with identical injuries, donned walking boots at the same time for foot/ankle injuries, cheered for each other at sporting events, walked to chapel together, passed notes between classes, shared a locker with one of the Lambert twins, experienced the best movies of all time (Office Space and Napoleon Dynamite) and quoted them endlessly, drove 90's Pontiacs that have now both been laid to rest, and shared Tim Lont (who I am pretty sure is responsible for the two of us meeting - read Brett's version) as a gymnastics and football coach. Brett accumulated a pile of pop top tabs and I accumulated promises to go hunting and fishing.
I remember when my dad first met Brett at my graduation open house. He turned to me and said, 'Why don't you date him, at least he can grow a beard.' The thought had been in the back of my mind for quite a long time. Somehow, the timing never seemed right.
While I was still in high school, I wrote Brett a letter pouring out my heart and wondering why it never seemed to be the right for me to share those feelings. The letter was signed, sealed and never delivered until about 2 years later. Parked in the side parking lot at the North side Meijer in his truck, he read it with tears in his eyes. By this time we were both in college, and we had been casually hanging out for a few weeks. It seemed like he was never going to move past being just my friend. In my own words, I told my mom 'it was like dating my brother.' Again, the timing just didn't seem right. Little did I know, that Brett would bring me back to that parking lot (and many of our favorite spots) years later and ask me to be his wife.
By the time we left HC, we had held each others' starting blocks, been at the trainer icing with identical injuries, donned walking boots at the same time for foot/ankle injuries, cheered for each other at sporting events, walked to chapel together, passed notes between classes, shared a locker with one of the Lambert twins, experienced the best movies of all time (Office Space and Napoleon Dynamite) and quoted them endlessly, drove 90's Pontiacs that have now both been laid to rest, and shared Tim Lont (who I am pretty sure is responsible for the two of us meeting - read Brett's version) as a gymnastics and football coach. Brett accumulated a pile of pop top tabs and I accumulated promises to go hunting and fishing.
I remember when my dad first met Brett at my graduation open house. He turned to me and said, 'Why don't you date him, at least he can grow a beard.' The thought had been in the back of my mind for quite a long time. Somehow, the timing never seemed right.
While I was still in high school, I wrote Brett a letter pouring out my heart and wondering why it never seemed to be the right for me to share those feelings. The letter was signed, sealed and never delivered until about 2 years later. Parked in the side parking lot at the North side Meijer in his truck, he read it with tears in his eyes. By this time we were both in college, and we had been casually hanging out for a few weeks. It seemed like he was never going to move past being just my friend. In my own words, I told my mom 'it was like dating my brother.' Again, the timing just didn't seem right. Little did I know, that Brett would bring me back to that parking lot (and many of our favorite spots) years later and ask me to be his wife.
Never have I believed so strongly that God works in your life to sharpen you into the person He desires. After college, I went on to marry someone else and moved across the country. While it was a period in my life full of challenges and feeling like a blacksmith was hammering me out, I would not go back and change it. God used those years to shape me into a woman meant for His work.
Healing from a divorce was no easy task. In the back of my mind, I was so worried I would be stuck in the loneliness only a divorcee can know, forever. God taught me to be content with that loneliness and to depend on Him to fill that void. However, in my heart I knew that someday I desired to have a family (shocking to those that knew I never wanted children) and was afraid I would never be desired by someone to share that dream. My hope is that my story will allow me to connect with others and allow them to see the Salvation of Jesus that I experienced in my life.
Healing from a divorce was no easy task. In the back of my mind, I was so worried I would be stuck in the loneliness only a divorcee can know, forever. God taught me to be content with that loneliness and to depend on Him to fill that void. However, in my heart I knew that someday I desired to have a family (shocking to those that knew I never wanted children) and was afraid I would never be desired by someone to share that dream. My hope is that my story will allow me to connect with others and allow them to see the Salvation of Jesus that I experienced in my life.
One fateful night, Brett and I literally ran into each other while attending separate friends' birthday parties at the same venue. I was about to turn and give the offender an ear full about bumping into me, but low and behold it was him! Somehow, after nearly a decade, his smile still brought me butterflies. Four months later the same situation happened. Not having the chance to catch up the first time, Brett asked if I was ok and if we could chat. We both ripped off the band-aid and voiced the feelings we had for each other years ago. I expressed my apprehensions about feeling marked with a black 'X' and rhetorically said, would you ever date a divorced woman?
It was now clear to me why he had never had a girlfriend or sought after a relationship. Fondly, I call him my Noah (if you have ever seen or read The Notebook, you'll understand my reference). Brett had waited for me. He had trusted God to bring him happiness and fulfillment in a relationship not knowing with whom or when that day would come. On our first date, Brett wrote me a love letter that shared his delight in our friendship, and that he would not trade years of me being married to someone else for anything; he loved the woman God sharpened me into.
Brett has a tender heart, and I have been astounded with the depth and greatness of the love we share for each other and our Savior. Even if in another time and place, I believe Brett's heart and mine would have found each other. He is the ultimate vision of a Christ-like heart, and constantly reminds me that I am his pure bride saved by Jesus, no matter what my past. Sometimes I can't believe that our crazy story has brought us together. Words cannot express the joy and anticipation I have for the day Brett and I become husband and wife.
